Wednesday, July 27, 2011

i am not God.

I guess anyone who sees the title of this post thinks.. "DUH!" I guess I am the one that needs reminding of that constantly.

I went through something called Redemption Group at Mars Hill. Normally it's once a week for 10 weeks, but this time was different because they did it in 4 days. It was for current or potential leaders that haven't gone through redemption group before. It was more than just a learning experience about how to give some biblical counseling... Pretty much every one of the 20ish men and women that went through this immersion felt the Holy Spirit move in their lives in an amazing way. Sin was revealed, Eyes were open to the depravity of our fallen state and mercy and grace poured over all of us. I went into the immersion thinking I was going to get my world rocked, and I had all these sins in my head that I expected to be dealt with and when it came time for me to share my story, NONE of that came out. The Holy Spirit had a different agenda for me. When I opened my mouth I spoke about being incredibly selfish my entire life, and just how I have been deceiving myself and others.

I wanted to hold onto that sin and deal with (redeem) it. However, that's not how it works. We don't have the ability to redeem. We are a fallen bunch of sinners. Us redeeming our own mess is like rubbing 2 turds together... in the end you just end up with a bigger pile of crap.

So this weekend we all took a big long look at the mountain of crap that we have made for ourselves and realized that we are in desperate NEED for a savior. and THAT is why the Gospel of Jesus Christ is not just "good news" it's the BEST news. God continually pursues us, and we can never out-sin his grace.

feeling the power of the Holy Spirit this weekend was really intense. It is unreal and unfathomably amazing that he dwells in us. He gives us the ability to repent and delight in God and trust in his plan for our lives.

I hope that all you who believe will see this, and trust in God with your life. Let God be God and you be his son or daughter. He has good for you and he will get his glory regardless... you can't mess that up, you aren't that big.

Thursday, July 7, 2011

WHEW!!!!

So I thought I would share about what all I've been doing and how God's revealed himself to me and really spoken into my life:

There are about 4 big projects in my lap. One of them culminates this Saturday so please be in prayer about that. John Mark McMillan (a christian artist) has agreed to lead worship with us after the saturday service this week, and I'm one of the people that has pushed for and helped arrange everything that is needed for this to happen. On top of 4 big projects, God is refining my view of money and how to steward it well, and on top of that there is a girl that I am interested in and for those who know me well, know that seems to be a big distraction in my life. I have ALOT going on.

My parents came to visit a few weeks ago and it was such a blessing for them to see what I'm a part of here at Mars Hill Church Downtown. Along with that visit, they brought all of my student loan files with them to give to me to figure out. There is ALOT to figure out there. As soon as i sat down with all this paper work staring at me, my email inbox blowing up with people asking questions about events that Im helping with.... I was immediately overwhelmed, I can't do this! I CANNOT DO THIS! I was paralyzed in fear and anxiety and felt defeated. In my cry of I CAN'T DO THIS! God answered me like a lighting bolt to the face. He said, "No Sam, you absolutely can't do any of that.... but I can. I am good, I love you, and you need to live for me, pursue me, and trust in my faithfulness" I then instead of being overwhelmed by my shortcomings, I was overwhelmed by the greatness of God, the love of God, and his relentless pursuit of me. I was drowning in his grace in that moment. God might not drop a box of money out of the sky (although he might!) but is absolutely by the power of the holy spirit giving me the power to repent against worshipping money and not steward what I have been given. He is opening my eyes to where sin is in my life, festering and ugly. The reality and enormity of what happened on the cross is mind-blowing. It's comforting, loving, and exciting.

Yesterday I was about to step outside and walk around the parking lot while listening to music and answering emails because it was a beautiful day here in Seattle. As soon as I got to the reception desk, there was a guy who had walked in and needed counsel. There was only 3 guys (including me) in the building and the other 2 dudes were in a meeting. So I had the opportunity to do some biblical counseling that I am absolutely not equip for but because I was the only available person to talk to this guy, I sat down with him. The Holy Spirit absolutely spoke truth through me into this guy's life. I sat with him for an hour and listened to his struggles and got a chance to reveal some of the lies he was holding onto as LIES from the enemy. It was amazing to get a chance to do this, it was intense and I really didn't do much. I knew that I couldn't handle this guy's struggles but that Jesus did and does.

God is good. and that is all for now. You are all in my prayers. Thank you for your continual prayer support.